Some people blame ‘being picky’ for the fact they’re perpetually single.

I’m not picky - I wish I could afford that privilege. First, my whole life I’ve been haunted by the scene in when the youngest daughter gets ostracised by her father for choosing a blue-eyed non-Jewish fiancé.

How can I still make a good impression and let them know I’m not a scary Gentile?

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What are the best places to have sex, and what do we do if we get caught?

Airplane toilets are ridiculous, but you get to join the Mile High Club. As for getting caught, you do what every teenager and politician regularly does: brush yourself off and deny, deny, deny.

Third, while there is always the option of converting a non-Jew, YOU try bringing that icebreaker up on a first date.

So as time ticks on and the best of the local, reasonably aged Jewish males have been married off, I’ve made more of a concerted effort to put myself out there.

Her diary is your diary, her organizational skills are your organizational skills.

Enjoy a life of leisure, as your wife tells you where, what and when you will be vacationing every year for the rest of your lives. which she's happy to prove, by calling to “check in” 300 times a day.

I’ve been to the singleton Friday Night buffets, the Jewish Speed-Dating evenings in ‘hip’ bars like Gilgamesh and the charity parties.

Every time I walk away, still single, realising that the real charity case here is actually me.

When The Internet Jewish dating game upped its ante, I was relieved that there was no longer the need to go to these thankless gatherings.